The Shattered Shinigami
by CrazyTeddyBear
Summary: As they're exiting the Senkaimon to fight with Muramasa, Hyorinmaru thinks about the real reason why the Zanpakuto rebelled from their masters. Takes place during the Zanpakuto rebellion filler arc.


**A/N: Takes place at the very end of the Zanpakuto rebellion, when all the Shinigami and Zanpakuto are working together to defeat Muramasa. Hyorinmaru thinks about the real reason why all the Zanpakuto rebelled; apart from Muramasa's brainwashing, of course. Here's the usual disclaimer; I don't own Bleach.**

**The Shattered Shinigami**

**Hyorinmaru POV**

I followed my Master through the Senkaimon Gate. The boy looked back at me as if to reassure himself that I was still there and I sighed guiltily; a Shinigami should never have to doubt the loyalty of their Zanpakuto. This entire incident was wrong on all levels. Damn that bastard Muramasa- I it weren't for him then I would still be where I should be.

As much as I might want to blame it all on Muramasa, I have to admit that things are partially our fault too; the fault of the Zanapkuto.

I remember when Muramasa came to me to attempt to persuade me to leave Toshiro. I- unlike the others- had denied and he had resorted to the low life trick of wiping my memory. Now that my memory was restored though, I could remember exactly what exactly Muramasa had offered us to make us rebel. And I knew exactly why it worked on the other Zanpakuto spirits; it had come so very close to working on me. The offer was so simple, yet so tempting.

The offer was the lack of emotions.

And not the lack of emotions for us, but for our _Shinigami._

And that had been enough to make every Zanpakuto leave their Master, not for their own sake, but for the sake of their Shinigami.

As Zanpakuto, we were well aware of emotions. We knew what they were and we knew how they affected people. We knew exactly how much they hurt you. We had never experienced them ourselves, though, that had been a burden our Masters had had to bear for us.

We had watched as they toiled, slaved and worried about others that they loved. We had watched as they had thrown themselves into harms way for the safety of not themselves, but for others.

And we had watched until we just wanted those emotions to disappear. Our Shinigami were killing themselves with them. I remember watching as Toshiro had thrown himself at Aizen, knowing he didn't stand a chance against the illusion master, just because Aizen hurt someone he loved. Tobiume remembered watching as Momo was stabbed by one she loved. Sode No Shirayuki remembered watching as Rukia Kuchiki stabbed the man she loved. Haineko watched as she was pressed to the throat of a man her Master loved.

We all watched until we were sick of watching.

We didn't want our Shinigami to love anymore. It was too dangerous for them to feel any emotions at all, because all emotions undoubtedly led to love. And love led to them doing stupid, idiotic things without thinking.

And then Muramasa came to us, offering to free us so that we could swap places with our Shinigami, make them the katana and us the Masters. Take those dangerous emotions from them so that would stop _hurting _themselves.

It wasn't until we fought against our Masters, saw the looks of horror on their faces and felt similar ones spread across our faces that we realized our mistakes.

We weren't protecting them, we were destroying them. Our bond was too deep to be erased just by a little switching around, a little materialization- and in some cases a little brainwashing- it was all a futile attempt for them.

For me it was a little harder. I didn't remember my Master at all, he was just an unknown figure to me. It wasn't until he fought against me, throwing himself at me with all he had that I remembered his personality. His stupid, trusting and stubborn personality; he had given me room to fly in the shortest time ever by achieving his bankai.

And, naturally, remembering him allowed to remember why I had fought against mind control. It was a startlingly simple reason; I already knew that I had emotions. Unlike most other swords I had gone to Toshiro when he was still barely able to walk; just a little kid. I grew up with him and that allowed me to realize that I already had emotions.

I already loved my Master.

I had searched and searched for him until I found my place with him. Fought with him and protected him and let him ramble on in my ear about childish things he would tell no one else. The other Zanpakuto weren't able to know this; their Masters had never bothered to explain to them what emotions were, so they had just assumed that they didn't have them.

It was hypocritical of us, really, to berate our Masters to going for such lengths or that emotion love when we were doing it just as much as they were.

After all, why would any of us go to such long lengths if not for love.

Sure, we lied, we told them all sorts of reasons; we hated nicknames, we hated the way they treated us, we hated how stupid they were.

But Muramasa should have remembered his own reasoning when he thought he had us so wound up in hate that we would just murder our Shinigami. He told us it himself:

All emotions lead to love; even emotions as cruel as hate.

Sure, we might never have gotten there if it weren't for our Shinigami.

But our Shinigami- being our stupid, senseless, idiotically brave Shinigami who were ruled by their emotions no matter how they tried to stop them- were able to remind us, even if it was by senselessly throwing themselves into battle like they always did.

But by then it was too late. We had woken up, but Muramasa had already revealed his true colours; now it was our turn to return the favour to him to him and make him see the truth. Hopefuly we would be able to reconcile Muramasa and his Master; even if he had already destroyed himself.

Despite where we were going though, it wasn't my job to worry about them, it was my job to watch my little Master who still shot glances back at me when he though no one was looking to reassure himself I was still there.

I listened to Muramasa's agonized screams as we passed through the Senkaimon. He had lost his Master. It was blindingly obvious. Now we had to destroy him before he destroyed our Masters too, because if Toshiro were to die I don't think I could live. I don't know why exactly I'm so bonded to this child, but I don't think I would be able to get over the shock of my Master dying.

Then, he turned back to me and said something I would have never expected him to, "Be careful, some of us actually care what happens to you. Throwing yourself into battle does nothing."

Of course, once again I forgot; the Master couldn't live without the Zanpakuto either.

Because no matter how much the Shinigami and Zanpakuto argue with each other, and as much as we hated to say it, we could actually all agree on one thing:

We were exactly the same.


End file.
